Taming Facebook
Facebook Privacy via Friend List Mastery
Most of us live in a world where not having a Facebook account can have negative social reprocussions. Many of us, also, see signing online to chat akin to stabbling themselves in the eye with a soldering eye. Twice.
Facebook has gone to great efforts to reduce spam and unwanted notifications, but they (in my opinion) have mostly left friend management hidden beneath scary configuration screens. I hope to alleviate this somewhat.
Privacy
To talk about controlling your data on Facebook, we need to first learn about friend lists. Once we define a set of lists for our associates, we can assign lists various permissions. So onto lists.
Friend Lists
Friend lists are a way of grouping your friends. By default Facebook gives you one list, "Limited Profile", you probably have seen this list whenever you add a new friend, in that you can opt to add people to it.
Limited profile is somewhat special, in that it doesn't appear in chat (at all), and has a set of permissions already attributed to it. Don't be fooled though, unless you've gone through all your privacy settings by hand, even "Limited Profile" may not be as limited as you would like.
Taking Control
Isn't Limited Profile and everyone else enough? Well, perhaps for you it is. What do lists give you? I'll use MSN as a metaphor. Lists give you control of your online status, as well as privacy all over Facebook.
Appearing Offline
Lists are the closest thing you can get to Appearing Offline, only in a much less socially manipulable way. If you appear offline to someone, they appear offline to you. No exceptions. No online "pouncing" or any such MSN tomfoolery.
To toggle whether the occupants of a list see you online or not, simply click the button up the top right of that list. This is the offline/online button.
Block (but Remain Friends)
You can also appear permanently offline to a list, and remove them from your chat interface altogether. Click the text "Friend Lists" up the top left of the chat bar, and you'll see all your friend lists.
Simply click on a list to hide or show it from your chat list. This is the extent to which you can "Keep Up Appearances", as the formal blocking mechanism is really quite cut-throat (and as it should be).
Whitelist
Whitelisting refers to the at of blocking by default, and having a special list, a "white list", and only they are allowed to see you (the opposite is blacklisting, i.e. "blocking"). Create lists for groups of people (say, your group assignment or class members, or colleagues, or family) and appear offline to "Other Friends", the bottom group in your chat box.
Now, whenever you want to appear online to just certain people, you just toggle that group online. Create as many groups as you need, but chances are you won't need many.
Privacy Take II
Using these lists, or new ones, or even a custom selection for every piece of information you have on Facebook. You should now visit your privacy settings page. If you've never been here before, and even if you have, I recommend you click the customise settings link, and have a look at who can see what of your information.
I recommend putting some time aside, and checking every single setting on the list. Even if you don't change anything, I suggest that knowing what you can change will come in handy in the future. Sick of being tagged in photos without you knowing? Change that setting. Want all your photo albums to default to just one list of friends? You can do that too.
Albums & Photos
Whenever you create an album or upload a photo, Facebook allows you to select the specific privacy of that item. Hopefully you're already familiar with this feature, and now that you've got premade lists it should be easier to manage.
Facebook also has the ability to bulk edit album privacy settings, this is very useful if you're only just starting to use lists. The option is hidden away in the privacy settings. Click Customise Settings, then Edit Privacy Settings for existing photo albums and videos.
Just Some People
Selecting just some people per item, at first, can appear impossible. But it's not, it's just awkward to find. Firstly, select "Customise" from the list of permissions. Then, select "Speific People", and add the people just for that resource (or permission).
Think of this as a one time Whitelist. If you find yourself repeating the same people over and over, consider making it into a formal list.
Split Identity
Lastly, people can belong to multiple lists, but as soon as they are added to one, they are removed from the "Other Friends" list. People will appear online if at least one of the lists they are on is online (regardless of how many offline lists the are in).
"Why Am I Online?"
Appearing online when you didn't want to be is downright annoying. And sometimes Facebook seems to "forget" that you were last offline, and log you into chat. Or perhaps you accidently clicked it and are now regretting that click.
You can prevent this, by getting into the habit of logging off all lists whilst online. Make a habit of doing this, and then regardless of whether or not you remember to go offline, or accidently click it, or Facebook randomly forgets, you'll still be offline to everyone.
Enjoy your newfound privacy, and I hope I've helped you make chat useful again.
Facebook is a glorified phone book. I encourage you to simply treat it as such.
TL;DR
If nothing else, read the two paragraphs titled "Privacy Take II", if nothing else, you stand to benefit most (long term) by controlling your privacy. If you already feel in control, be sure to spread the word.
