DISCLAIMER
The following text was part of a private SMS conversation, and  as such I've removed any personally identifying information. The author had no intention of this text becoming public, but has given permission for it to be so. However, consider it a unedited first only and final draft of a stream of consious rant.

The Myth of Sexual Exclusivity
or; Why Polysexuality Makes Sense

Sayings shmayings. Lots of cultures, past and present, stably supported and actively practice polyamory. It's just counter to what our "traditional Christian values" nation considers moral, if even possible. That it is somehow immoral (or impossible) is at best a myth peddled by the ignorant; at worst? A blatant intentional lie.

Almost all relationships fail; why? Pick a reason. Infidelity? Moving on? Lost trust? What if, instead of what you've been brought up to expect, you embrace the idea of multiple partners. Not just with lip service, but you understand it with respect, honesty and integrity, as a lifestyle multitudes of people feel is natural. What then? Sure, it's just a thought, a hypothetical, to yo. But many, many people live it. Best way to prove something possible is to live it, no?

It's part of my greater philosophy. I know it can work - even without studies and statistics. And I'd wager that once you define the language succintly (even if I have to create them, the language is in a state of flux) that the change in approach could well reduce the proportion of relationships which fail. By looking at multiple partners as a natural, healthy, beautiful thing, and considering the possibility that it is our un-natural, potentially unhealthy, artificially imposed construct of "male-female single partner lifelong marriages" itself, that is indeed the very cause of the massive proportion of failed partnerships so central to it's ideology.

Traditional marriage, as an institution, has failed. It's archaic. Perhaps, just perhaps, it is that we suppress our natural human animal lifestyle of social sexuality (and sex's rediculous taboo) that drive us as a species to cheat on our monogamous partners. Cheating only exists when behaviour is lied about. It's usually kept secret because its presumed (or even known) that the behaviour wouldn't be approved.

What if instead of supressing this inate bahaviour, we talked openly about being attracted to others. Talked unashamedly about the possibility of involving them to your relationship. With this one step, I'd already wager a reduction in occurances of cheating and infedelity. Once this initial honest conversation has occured, it most likely leads to 3 broad possible outcomes.

1. The partner approves, and as a couple you 'date' the new potential partner (to try and apply convention terms and behaviour). Or,

2. The partner disapproves and you both move on with life. Or,

3. (Painfully) the partner dissaproves, but the partner attracted to the 3rd party still wants to be involved with them. Either they lie, succumbing to conventional cheating, or they have a proper, mature decision to make - between one partner and the other.

The difference to conventional relationships is obvious; the supressed behaviour becomes a discussed possibility. And the remaining options remain similar to traditional partnerships. This type of approach, to me, makes so much sense. It's just so much more healthy, real, respectful & mature. Hell, it seems more natural. To me anyway...

Companionship and commitment aren't exclusive to monogamous relationships. What you're really doing is mutually agreeing to sexual exclusivity, and the implicit assumption you wont actively seek out a relionship incompatible with the agreed sexual exclusivity. How is any of that dependent on the number of people in the "mutually agreed sexual exclusivity". My theory, although unpopular, is that most people are too insecure, and too prone to jealousy (which exists through lack of trust), to even contemplate thinking about it "hypothetically".

Like other forms of trust issues, and insecurities, IMO there is nothing special (other than it being socially acceptable to be jealous of your partner flirting and insecure of yourself sexually preventing another person being involved, or possesiveness and insecurity about ur partner touching or being touched by someone else). It's the fact its acceptable that makes them endure. Like body image, penis size, breast size, prized jobs, prized body shapes - all fluctuate over time in acceptableness, what is, and what isnt.

Mutually agreed upon 3somes are extremely commonplace; and to graduate those 3rd parties from one night to longer term in your life? Well, it's the same as when a single person courts their *first* partner. I don't even care if its not common or acceptable, even by the time I die. As long as I advocate what I believe in and live by it. Like transexuality, homosexuality and inter-racial relationahips before it. Opinions and values take time to change. I think I'm rambling on. Did this all make sense?

- Anon